“People don’t like you”

A Sneak Peek Into "Book Title"

It’s funny how little things happen early in life that shape you and make you who you are.

It was the first day of Grade 7, I was already going downhill, things weren’t great at home. Insecure, not sleeping, no self-esteem, I was struggling.

I walked to the front doors of my new middle school, way bigger than my previous school. I saw a couple friends from grade school. They were a welcoming sight and my nerves eased a little bit. I went to say hi and they didn’t even look at me. They carried on their conversation like I wasn’t even there.

It was a punch to the gut, I walked away with my head down. I thought to myself, I must be a geek, a term I heard but didn’t exist in my previous school. I told myself, “People don’t like you”. I kept to myself during breaks and lunches.

It was the end of that same year. The sun was shining as summer approached. Our entire class was in one big circle with the desks and chair pushed out of the way. Everyone was together, laughing and having a great time. All of a sudden, something clicked with the “popular” kids, they got up and left the circle and sat at a desk in their own group on the other side of the room.

I’ll never forget the feeling of the energy being sucked out of that circle. It became more quiet, almost uncomfortable, faces withdrawn, the feeling of not being cool enough or left out.

As much as I became a bully later because I hated myself, I always had a soft spot for the quiet ones and always defended them as I actually became your stereotypical cool myself.. Briefly anyway. I took it with me and still do today.